This Wasn't In My Job Description

One week in, and we’re already messing with the formula. It didn’t take long for me to abandon my view from the back and seek out a better position. Which is bad for the blog, considering the title is “A View from the Back”. But it’s potentially worse for the choir, because this week they’ve had to put up with my singing.

After the choir’s triumphant performance at Hebburn Town this week, Becky once again went vocal with her need for men. It’s what every husband loves to hear. But in the context of the choir, it’s fair comment. We’ve been crying out for more male voices for a long time, and it turns out that I have one.

When I was a student I frequented a weekly karaoke night. The host Big Terry knew me on sight, and would always introduce “the unique vocal stylings of Kev”. It was not a compliment. I know I am not a singer; what I am is an amusing and overconfident drunk. Sadly, Becky won’t let me attend with Jim Beam in my water bottle, and so I am out of my comfort zone.

Becky gave me this week’s learning material a little early, so I really put the work in. If I’d put this much effort into my degree I’d now be the Tokyo correspondent for the Guardian, instead of gazing at lists of cable accessories and weeping at the futility of existence. I’ve gone over the harmonies. I know the lyrics. I felt ready to give it my best shot.

I’m a deaf man with social anxiety, who runs a choir, so I’m used to feeling horribly underqualified for the positions in which I find myself. But this is something else. The song requires me to sing with the tenors; I can barely carry a tune in a bucket, but even at my best I sit somewhere between a bass and a baritone. I know from the time spent practising at home that I really can’t hit those high notes. But I’m committed, and so I sat with the tenors last night and instantly felt my throat go dry.

I have little faith in my ability to pull this off, but I have total confidence in Becky’s ability to get the best out of all of her singers. Even me. I hate to boost her ego even further, but she really is very good at what she does. And do you know what? I think I was in the vicinity of the tune. I sang my heart out. I felt like I gave a decent account of myself (the good men and women around me may have a different opinion, and bear in mind that I am deaf so I may have been awful!) Most importantly, though, I really enjoyed myself. I wasn’t worried about making a fool of myself, because I’m among friends. And you already know I’m a fool. I won’t be making a habit of it, but with the right song and the right support I might occasionally have more to offer than just turning on the lights.